John Maine Got Hosed

I can't remember the last time I really cared about the All Star game. High school, maybe? Middle school, before my summers were filled with illegally purchased coconut rum and mid-afternoon masturbation? I certainly haven't cared since college, and I really could give a shit about tonight's game...that's why I figured now would be as good a time as any to check back in with the ol' blog.

I was thinking of doing a "Mets midseason report card" kind of thing, but I'm too lazy to do that in this godawful heat. Plus, Eddie Coleman did a decent one at wfan.com anyway. So in the spirit of the All Star game and my general crankiness at the fact that its so hot in New York I have to frequently wiggle my hand around in my pants pockets at work in an attempt to peel my scrotum away from my inner thigh while trying not to look like a total pervert, I figure I'll just bitch about the fact that John Maine got totally screwed out of a spot on the All Star team.

I've never really been one to put much stock into the All Star rosters in the first place. Every team has to have a representative, and as we've seen in other recent elections, the American public can't really be trusted to make sound evaluations of personal talent and ability anyway. Some asshole like Barry Bonds or Jeff Kent always gets selected based on the fact that at one time they were the best at their respective positions, but aren't so great any more. Same shit happened again this year (Freddie Sanchez? Jose Valverde?? What the fuck???).

What really burns my ass though is that not only did John Maine not make the team initially, but he wasn't even considered in the internet voting runoff that followed the initial voting. I understand that John Maine is still young, but that shouldn't excuse the shit I feel he takes after such a solid start to this season. I've been sticking up for Maine since the '06 playoffs - especially when my douchey Yankee fan friends try to convince me that Maine isn't all he's cracked up to be. Granted, he could suck a fat one in the second half, but so could any of the All Stars chosen for this year. Players who make the All Star team should make the team based on their first half performance. Period. Here are some of the losers who made the team over Maine and his 10-4 record, 2.71 ERA and 7.63 K/9:

Roy Oswalt: 8-5/3.53/6.27

Ben Sheets: 10-4/3.41/6.75

John Smoltz: 9-5/3.07/8.18

Brandon Webb: 8-6/3.37/7.69

You can make a case for these guys, but there is no reason that Maine's name should not be mentioned with any of these "All Stars," and..ahhh, fuck it. Who really cares anyway. Let's just hope that Maine has as good a second half as he did this spring/summer.

For now, I'm going to smoke a bowl and hope that Fox decides to talk to Eric Byrnes and his dog for the rest of this game.