Why Our Team Is Better Than Yours: St. Louis Cardinals Edition

Ahhhhh, what a great morning to be American. It's beautiful outside in the City, the Yankees are in a state of complete disarray and we have the day off. You know what that means - Price is Right, mid-morning masturbation and a long overdue post on the state of our New York Mets.

As the eight of you who read this blog are well aware, the Mets handily defeated the Dodgers on Saturday night - thereby proving 7 of your favorite ESPN douchebags wrong. A special shout goes out to Sean McAdam, John Shea, Eric Karabell, Pedro Gomez, Alan Schwarz, Rob Neyer and Jim Caple who incorrectly picked EVERY SINGLE SERIES in the opening round of the MLB playoffs. This almost defies mathematic probability. If we are ever on an airplane with any of these assholes, we will be sprinting for the emergency exit as it will almost certinaly crash.

We could not feel better about this team heading into the NLCS. Despite a starting rotation that featured the number 2, 5 and 7 starters, the Mets still tittyfucked fat Tommy Lasorda and the Dodgers due to outstanding work from the bullpen and a balanced lineup that featured different players getting hot at the right time (tip of the hat to Shawn Green in Game 3). So, as Maury tries to figure out who the father really is, we will let you know why the Mets will win this series. Seriously...just ask Jim Caple.

Catcher: Paul Lo Duca vs. Yadier Molina

Paul Lo Duca has simply not stopped hitting this year. While some players crumble under the pressure of the New York media (see: Rodgriguez, Alex) Paulie has fought through a thumb injury, gambling allegations and Myspace vixens. His solid play carried over to the NLDS where he hit .455 with a .500 OBP. Molina hit a respectable .308, but his OBP was also .308. There is no reason for us to believe that Paul will stop now. Viva Lo Dough Boy.

Advantage: Mets

First Base: Carlos Delgado vs. Albert Pujols

For all of the hype about Nomar, the Dodgers did not have that one player who can change a game with one swing of the bat. That said, Pujols is the ONLY player on the Cardinals that actually scares us. The man is beast. Delgado actually hit better than Prince Albert during the NLDS (.429, 1 HR, 2 RBI vs. .333, 1 HR, 3 RBI). Delgado also struck out less (3 Ks vs. 4Ks), but Poo-holes is still in the Ryan Howard, Barry Bonds Pre-steroid Breakdown category of players who should be walked or pitched around whenever possible.

Advantage: Cardinals

Second Base: Jose Valentin vs. Ronnie Belliard

Has it all come crashing down on the Stache? Is his Cinderella season grinding to a premature halt? We do not think so. Despite a dismal NLDS (0 hits in 9 ABs), we are not ready to give up on Jose. Belliard had a good NLDS (6/13, 2 RBI), but he is still the player who hit .237 with 23 RBI in 54 games for the Cards this season. Plus, he looks like a total dipshit. We'll take the mustache over the cornrows.

Advantage: Mets

Shortstop: Jose Reyes vs. David Eckstein

Josie reverted to his '05 form during most of the NLDS, swinging at pitches that even Rey Ordonez would have layed off of, but at the end of the day, he is a much better player. Reyes hit .167 with a .286 OBP in the Dodgers series as opposed to Eckstein's .133 - .188 versus the Padres, but comparing those numbers is like reading a Special Olympics box score and claiming that the guy with Down Syndrome who finished the race in 2 hours is a better athlete than the blind guy who finished in 2 and a half. Jose's .300/19 HRs/81 RBI/64 SBs totally cockslap Eckstein's .292/2 HRs/23 RBI/7 SBs during the regular season. When all's said and done, our money is on the goyim.

Advantage: Mets


Third Base: David Wright vs. Scott Rolen

In our opinion, the torch for NL thirdbasemen was passed this year with Wright's selection as the starter for the All-Star game. While the All-Star game carries the same importance as the World Baseball Classic, which itself was about as fun as the women's bronze medal hockey showdown in the Olympics, it symbolized Wright's emergence as the premier player at the position. Rolen had an abysmal NLDS, going 1 for 11 with no RBI. Meanwhile Wright, in his first playoff appearance, batted .333 with 4 RBI. Rolen is still a solid player, but we certainly would not be shitting ourselves if he came up with two outs and runners on in the seventh.

Advantage: Mets

Rightfield: Shawn Green vs. Juan Encarnacion

Shawn Green so thoroughly stunk up rightfield at Shea during Game 1 of the NLDS that he sat in favor of Endy Chavez in Game 2. However, much as Moses led his people out of Egypt thousands of years ago, Shawn Green led the offensive attack Saturday night and delivered his team to the NLCS. Green rebounded from his heinous Game 1 performance to finish the series with a .333 average, 2 2Bs, 2 RBI and a .556 slugging percentage. Encarnacion hit .286 with a .313 OBP and .429 SLG. Look for Shawn Green to continue hitting well with the Cardinals throwing no lefties in this series.

Advantage: Mets

Centerfield: Carlos Beltran vs. Jim Edmonds

We have officially come to the conclusion that this postseason will not be a repeat of Carlos' '04 run with the Astros that warranted his $119 million contract. He hit .222 during the first round, but drew 5 walks and sported an impressive .500 OBP. Edmonds, who is years past his prime, hit .308 against the Padres, but only hit .257 with 19 HRs during the regular season. Beltran's MVP caliber regular season gives him the distinct edge over Edmonds in this head to head match up, but we're kind of hoping the Cardinals find a way to trade for Kenny Lofton during the next two days. For comedy's sake.

Advantage: Mets

Leftfield: Endy Chavez vs. Preston Wilson

According to the Daily News, Cliff Floyd is likely out for the remainder of the post season after aggravating his Achilles injury during Game 3 of the Dodgers series. The Mets will most likely add everyone's favorite thug Lastings Milledge to the roster as an extra outfielder and let Endy Chavez start in left. We are torn about this news. While Cliff showed signs of life during the NLDS, he was clearly playing in pain both in the field and on the basepath. The team is probably better served having Endy in left for the rest of the playoffs, but we love Cliff. He has been there through all of the Phillips/Duquette disasters and deserves a World Series appearance more than any other Met. That said, Endy Chavez continued his brilliant season by going 3 for 8 with a .375 OBP in a start and a half in the NLCS. Preston Wilson went 2 for 8 with the same OBP during his series with the Pads. This match up is probably a wash, but we have watched every Met game this year and Endy's knack for getting the big hit gives him the edge.

Advantage: Mets

Starting Pitching

The much maligned Mets pitching staff was phenomenal during the first round. John Maine, who lives in a Ramada in Flushing, Queens and walks to and from the stadium, had a wonderful start, surrendering only 1 run in 4.1 innings. Tom Glavine then one upped him with his 4 hitter in 6 innings in game 2. And while Trachsel looked a little shaky in LA, he is a servicable starter who matches up well with the stiffs the Cardinals will be putting on the mound. The pitching match ups for the first three games of the NLCS are as follows: Glavine vs. Weaver Game 1, Maine vs. Suppan Game 2, and Trachsel vs. Carpenter Game 3. If we were Cardinals fans, we would have a hard time taking our team seriously with Jeff Weaver on the mound for Game 1 of the NLCS. The guy seriously blows. Chris Carpenter, who was predictably solid during the NLDS, is the only pitcher that makes us nervous going into this series. The fact that the Cardinals are scheduled to pitch three or four marginal right handed pitchers against the Mets gives the Mets a decided advantage.

Advantage: Mets

Bullpen

As expected, the best bullpen in baseball played like it during the NLDS. In 13.1 innings, Mets relievers gave up 8 runs and recorded two of the three wins for the series. Perhaps most importantly, Billy Wagner showed that his meltdown against the Yankees this summer was an isolated incident and that he is capable of nailing down wins on the big stage. The Cardinals bullpen was also solid during their NLDS series, but they have one glaring flaw that almost guarantees a series loss: Braden Looper is in their bullpen. Couple that with the fact that they do not have a real closer and it makes the bullpen breakdown a slam dunk for the Mets.

Advantage: Mets

Perhaps it was for the best that the "experts" at the World Wide Leader trashed the Mets starters prior to the NLDS. The Mets certainly were not the underdogs going into the Dodgers series, but it was much more fun to watch them shock everyone who had not watched them play on a regular basis this season. We feel good about this team, and perhaps there is no better testament to the importance of having a good clubhouse than the fact that the Mets have advanced while the Yankees are trying clean up the steaming pile of dog shit currently enveloping the Bronx. The Mets are finally the only baseball team in New York and we couldn't be happier.